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LITERATURE > Poetry Corner > Land-O-Lyrics

Here are some alternative lyrics to pop songs. Yes, I wrote them when I was bored at work.If you come up with any funny ones while YOU'RE bored, don't hesitate to email them to me!

Table of Contents

This Lab Smells Like Toes

(To be sung to the Backstreet Boys'"I Want It That Way.")

I am on fire
My one desire
Alas! My poor nose...
Cuz this lab smells like toes

Hello! I think hell
Must have this same smell
So inflamed is my nose
Cuz this lab smells like toes

Tell me why
It's only an aroma
Tell me why
Wish I were in a coma
Tell me why
Neverending are my woes
Cuz this lab smells like toes

I know some athletes
Who have pungent feets
I feel I have foes
Cuz this lab smells like toes

Now I can tell from the way I can't breathe
That my nose is in some real pain (yeea-ahh)
No matter the hardship I want you to know
That this smell which is my bane...

Will be no longer
I'll kill this odor
I will, I will, I will, I will...

(Don't wanna hear you saa-a-a-ay)
"Ain't nothin' you can't handle"
"Ain't nothin' like a landfill"
(Don't wanna let you)
I never wanna let you know
What it's like to smell toes

Chorus x 2

...Cuz this lab smells like toes

*Special thanks to the lab next door for permanently damaging my olfactory nerves and inspiring me to write this song.

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Oops! (W.C. Version)

(To be sung to Britney Spears's "Oops! I Did It Again")

I think I did it again
I made you believe
That we could be friends
Oh baby, it might seem like I'm clean
But I'm telling you now that that doesn't mean
You can enter without fear
That the toilet bowl will be clear

Ooh baby baby
Oops! I did it again
Left it in the bowl
I just plain forgot
Oh baby baby
Oops! You think that I'll blush
Just 'cause I didn't flush
I'm not that innocent

You see my problem is this
I'm dreaming away
Sitting on top of this porcelain chair
I'm done dropping the load
But I don't check if I've
Left a clean commode
Even if I don't flush
I don't care! That's typically me!


Spoken Interlude
Pooper: Wendy, before I go, there's something I want you to have.
Wendy: Ooh, it's gynormous. But isn't this?
Pooper: Yes, yes it is.
Wendy: But I thought that you're supposed to flush it down before the next person uses the toilet.
Pooper: Well, baby, I decided to leave it to you as a present...

Oops! I did it again and forgot
To flush, and no, I'm not sorry
Oops! You think that I care and I'll blush
I'm not that innocent.

Chorus x2

*Inspired by the people with no bathroom etiquette at WenDiva's workplace. People, please verify you have successfully flushed before leaving the toilet!

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