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"The course of true love never did run smooth." (William Shakespeare) And apparently, neither do weddings.
We got up early the next morning because we were supposed to catch an early bus. Of course, some people did not wake up as early as others and the wedding coordinators were (understandably) having problems distributing luggage tags (as you know, that is a very difficult task that requires a master's degree, at least). Finally, we boarded the bus, and it drove us to Northampton, where Castle Ashby is located. The countryside was very green, and there were tons of sheep grazing. We finally arrived at the main gate (which I later learned used to be the "middle" gate; that is, it was halfway between the main gate and the castle). We then separated into small groups and got into several Mercedes, which drove us on the main road leading to the castle. It was probably a mile and a half from the gate to the castle, so you can imagine how big the grounds used to be. We were greeted by the house staff when we got to the house and then the people staying in the same wing as Joyce, Tone, Lil, and I were led by a cute guy named Graham to our rooms. Joyce and I had one of the biggest rooms since there was two of us. There were some very pretty flowers in our room and in the bathroom, which we later learned were put together by the amazing florist Robbie Honey (more will be said about him later). Joyce and I lorded our superiority over Tone because our bathroom had a bidet and his did not, and he cried for a little bit, but then he got over it and started saying, "Well, I got a bathtub." Whatever. Everyone knows that a bidet beats a bathtub any day. Anyway, after taking a look at our rooms, we shuffled down to The Long Gallery, where the civil ceremony took place. Katy and Greg said their "I dos" and signed their names on the marriage certificate and Lil and Greg's brother (whose name I have already forgotten) were witnesses. After they were done with the actual ceremony, Katy and Greg then pretended to sign the log or whatever the big book with all the names was so that everyone could take pictures of them doing it.
Then Katy, Greg, the ushers and bridesmaids, and all the important people had to go to the church for the wedding rehearsal and then get dressed up for family pictures, which meant that Tone and I (the little, unimportant ones) could go exploring, which we did. We walked in the castle gardens, taking photos whenever the sun decided to make a brief appearance, and then wandered in the house, looking in all the rooms, which were quite lavishly furnished with lots of antique furniture and paintings and hangings. We got a peek at the Great Hall, where dinner would take place, and it looked beautiful. Mr. Honey had created some absolutely gorgeous centerpieces. Lunch was served in the Reynolds Room, which was very bright and cheery. Mr. Honey's magic touch had also spruced up each of the tables with smaller, cute centerpieces consisting of green apples and white roses. I fell in the love with guy right then and there without ever laying eyes on him. Mr. Hot Stuff showed up in very typically fobby wear: brown leather jacket, ugly-ass jeans, a big white shirt with red arrow things, and sunglasses. Anyway, Tone and I eventually got dressed in our formal wear (Tone was in a tux and I was in a floor-length black gown) and then we took a look at everyone as they took family pictures. The makeup artist that Katy had asked to do her makeup (and Lil's and Joyce's) was very good and did a spectacular job, but the hairdressers that wedding coordinators had found did not. It wasn't that their hair looked bad, but I couldn't see any difference between their hair before and after it got done. In fact, I think Joyce did a better job in the morning by herself.
The pictures were taking forever, so Tone and I were walking around a bit. Tone did not know how to tie a bow tie and neither did I so he enlisted Graham (he's so dreamy!) for help. Tone was a good boy and did some reconnaissance for us gals (I wasn't the only to notice Graham's cuteness) and found out that he probably had a girlfriend (*sigh*). Tone and I went outside to see if the sun was going to come out so we could take some pictures of us in nice clothes, and someone started knocking on the front door. We didn't know how to open it so we just kinda stood there. Some cute guy with messy hair who was dressed very casually in a button-down with a sweater over it came out and opened the door for the person, who turned out to be this old lady with thick-rimmed glasses. It turns out that the cute guy was Mr. Honey, the florist, and the old lady was Mrs. Weinstock, a famous wedding-cake maker from New York that Katy had hired for the wedding. Mr. Honey's attire? Casual and cool. Mr. Hot Stuff's outfit? Ugly and lame.
Wanna see photos corresponding to this trip? Click here!
Observation 5: The weather in the UK sucks.
So, England has these weird laws about weddings and apparently you can't get married in a church unless you've lived in the country for a specified amount of time and blah blah blah. Basically, this meant that Katy and Greg were officially wed at the civil ceremony, and the "wedding" at the church was actually a "blessing." Everyone headed off to the church after the majority of the family pictures were taken. The vicar was a little crotchety and said exasperatedly, "Can you please keep the door closed? Otherwise it's going to get very cold." People were all confused as to whether they were supposed to stand when Katy came in, so it looked kind of funny with Tone, me, and a few scattered guests standing up while everyone else remained in their seats. Then we had to sing a bunch of church songs with the choir, except that only a few people knew how to sing the songs, so the rest of us just lip-synched, which works when the majority of the group is actually singing and you're the only one not singing but doesn't work when majority of the group is lip-synching and one or two people are trying to sing at extra-high volume to cover up the silence. Lil got up and read a passage from the Bible, of which she had memorized "Love is patient. Love is kind." because she and Katy kept discussing it the day before. When the ceremony was over, we all exited the church and then tossed white rose petals as Katy and Greg exited and got in a carriage, which took them back to the castle. The rest of us were left to walk back in the cold. It was very windy and even a little wet. We tried to take some pictures outside of the church, but could only take a couple because we started getting hypothermia. You think I'm kidding, but I will have you know that my hands were so cold that they started to burn.
After we got back to the castle, we headed to the King William Room where we had champagne and more family pictures were taken. Lil, Joyce, Tone, and I groused about the photographer, thinking him an awful hack, but apparently he was the photographer for Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston's wedding, so we collectively thought, "Well, I guess he knows what he's doing then." We then went up to The Great Hall, where dinner was going to be served. We were seated at tables of approximately 6 or more, and Katy and Greg had a sweetheart table for just the two of them. Our dinner menu consisted of hot smoked salmon cakes garnished with warm brown shrimps in a coriander dressing, spinach salad with toasted walnuts, roast guinea fowl with baby leeks and sweet and sour cherry tomatoes, nougat glacé with seasonal berries, truffles, and lots and lots of wine. Lil gave a toast, which was good because it was short. This is not to say that its brevity was its only good point. Her speech was sweet and funny. You have to realize that Joyce and I were awaiting with horror the speech that was coming from Greg's brother, who said that it was going to be around 30 minutes. Luckily, he didn't talk for that long. Then all these people had to get up and say their own little something, at which point I looked over to see Mr. Hot Stuff wearing a suit with a pink shirt. Someone explain to that guy what "black tie" means! At the end of dinner, we got a cute surprise. Instead of having one big wedding cake, Katy had miniature wedding cakes for each of the guests. They were really beautiful, and there were at least 7 different designs. I got a lemon cake, which I liked. Tone got a chocolate cake, and Joyce got a peach cake. After we had all eaten (and my dress was feeling considerably tighter), it was time to catch the bouquet. All the girls walked up to one end of the room as Katy ascended the stairs to the balcony of Then Great Hall. Let me just say that it's not right for people who already have significant others to be participating when there are a decent number of single people out there who need a little luck. Anyway, before Katy could toss the bouquet down to us, one of the drunk uncles walked right in front of all us and yelled, "Throw it to me! I'm going to need it tonight!" How crass. You gotta love it. Anyway, I got a big handful from the bouquet but it disintegrated upon impact, so I was left with a handful of roses while some other girl whom I would not deign to name even had I known her name, who already had a boyfriend, picked up the remains with the part your hand holds (is it called the "handle"?) from the ground. Hmph. I didn't even want the bouquet once it fell on the ground. That girl can have it, I don't care. I'm not bitter at all. No way. I'm. Not. Bitter. At. All.
After dinner, Tone and I went on a tour of the house while Joyce and Lil, upon learning that the cakes were $100 each, decided that it was up to them to make the most of the money spent and went back to The Great Hall to chow down on any cakes left over, careful to eat only the untouched ones, of course. The tour was informative and taught us not to bother accumulating too much property because if you do, you'll probably die early without leaving any heirs and it'll go to some distant relative you probably didn't even like anyway. After the tour was over, I felt like I was in a sausage casing, so I changed out of my clothes and Tone and I headed for the room where everyone was playing snooker and drinking from the open bar. Katy's Australian cousins were diligently sampling everything available and chatting up the 16-year old kid who was serving the drinks. Tone kept scaring the poor kid, asking him if he knew how to make this or that drink, when I could have told him that they're not big on mixed drinks here. We learned that one of Katy's Australian cousins played an orc in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring and had met Orlando Bloom (another dreamboat! He's the elf, Legolas, in the movie). Since I am two degrees of separation from Orlando Bloom, any of you who know me are three degrees of separation from him! All of us who were clustered around the bar chatted until 2 in the morning, and even after we left to our rooms, Joyce and I chatted until 4 in the morning, so as you can probably guess, it was pretty difficult getting up in the morning. We managed to get up just in time to get breakfast before it was over.
C'mon! I know you wanna see the photos! Click here!
The morning after...
The breakfast was pretty good, except for something called black pudding. It is so yucky! The texture and taste just grossed me out. I took one bite and then someone told me it's made out of blood! Needless to say, it was untouched for the remainder of the meal (Note: A reliable source has just informed me that black pudding is essentially "gristle and blood." Like that makes it MORE appetizing.) After breakfast, Katy and Greg had arranged for us to get carriage rides. Since all these people were waiting, Tone and I stood in front of the castle, trying to get a good photo from the front, but we were unable to get rid of the dreadfully fashion-unconscious guests milling about the front as they waited for their carriage ride. Joyce joined us later while Lil ran off with Katy's cousins on a sheep-terrorizing spree. Because we hadn't been standing in the right spot and because we were trying to be respectful to all the elders in the group, Joyce, Lil, Katy, and I ended up being one of the last people to get a carriage ride. We passed by the spooky cemetery and went over a bridge that spanned the brook/river that winds around the grounds. After the carriage ride (less than 3 hours after breakfast), we had lunch. Then it was time for the "antique treasure hunt." This guy who produces the BBC's version of "The Antiques Roadshow" gave us a little lecture on antiques and then asked us to form little groups. We named ours "Katy's Posse." Our job was to locate the objects described by the clues on the list we were given and to answer questions about the objects' worth, style, purpose, and age. We didn't do too badly, but we didn't do well enough to win the bubbly that was given to the group with highest score. We also didn't do badly enough to win the bubbly that was given to the group with the lowest score. While we scored our lists, we had (2 hours after lunch) afternoon tea, with scones and clotted cream and shortbread and other stuff. I learned from one of the staff that clotted cream is kind of in between butter and whipped cream and usually comes from cows in Southern England. Who knew? It's good...but I think someone could have thought of a better name for it. When I think "clotted" anything, it's pretty gross.
If you saw Miss Congeniality, raise your hands! I can't see you...
Only three hours after tea, we had to change into semi-formal wear and go downstairs to The Drawing Rooms, where pre-dinner cocktails were being served. Yes, it is true, not one three-hour period has passed without some sort of food being served. The St. Valentine's Day Dinner (yes, it was St. Valentine's Day for those of you who asked...it wouldn't make much sense to have a St. Valentine's Day Dinner on a day other than St. Valentine's Day, would it?) was served in The Long Gallery. Once again, we had tons of food. Our dinner menu consisted of mosaic of local game with a beetroot and apple dressing, mixed greens salad, grilled fillet of sea bass on a leek risotto with a tomato nage, apple tatin, amaretti ice cream, petit fours, and once again, plenty of wine. During the course of the dinner, people encouraged the newlyweds to kiss, and that started a horrible, horrible kissing trend. One by one, couples would stand up (we're talking young and old here, people) and kiss each other, and everyone would cheer. They just went around the large table. Of course, when it came around to us, Joyce, Tone, and I just sat there, our eyes cast downward on our plates. After everyone recovered from our crude display of single-ness, they passed us and the couple sitting to Tone's right got up and kissed. We thought that the awkwardness had come to an end, but someone then yelled, "Tony, why don't you kiss one of them!?" NOT COOL. I repeat, NOT COOL. After that awkward moment, dinner continued, and some of Katy's younger cousins started playing with their wine glasses, making them hum, starting another trend. These people are just so trendy, what can I say? Everyone, with the exception of Joyce, Tone, and I, started to "play" their glasses. Yes, Lil, "Miss Congeniality" herself, also joined in.
Paradise Lost...
We had to go back to London the next morning, which meant that we would no longer be leading pampered and cushy lives. We got up early and packed. Tone and I went off in search of Graham, because I needed just one last look. Katherine was very brave and asked for a photograph with him, and although he was taken aback (he responded with a wary "Why?"), he agreed to it, and Tone very cleverly worked in that I should get photo taken with him too.
When we got back to London, our rooms weren't ready at the hotel, so we decided to go look for some fish and chips. There was a restaurant called The Seashell which was recommended in several books that Tone wanted to try, so Joyce, Lil, Tone, and I went there for lunch. It was not that great. It wasn't horrible, but it just didn't seem up to snuff. After lunch and settling into our rooms, we went our separate ways. Lil wasn't feeling well, so she stayed at the hotel; Tone and Joyce decided to go sightseeing/shopping together; and I decided to walk around by myself. I didn't feel like seeing any actual tourist sites, so I just wandered around and got a feel for what different parts of the city were like. I went down to Knightsbridge and explored Harrods's food halls, which are magnificently large. My one complaint is that with all that food, they should really provide samples, like they do at Costco. If they did that, then Harrods would be perfect. I bought my mom some honey thins, which were delicious. My family finished them in a day. I only got one. But I'll stop complaining now. After that, I went back to Leicester Square and walked around Chinatown and Soho, where I saw quite a few good-looking (but gay) guys walking around. I thought that there would be more people walking around, but I think the reason there weren't was that everyone was inside some bar or pub, drinking. I met up with Lil and Joyce for dinner, and we went to a tapas restaurant that was highly recommended by Katy's brother, Tony, who loves tapas. Katy, Greg, Greg's pal Steven (I'm a bit hazy on the names), and his girlfriend joined us. The food was very good, but there was just too much. We couldn't finish it all. We all worked really hard to finish the sangria (but some of us worked harder than others, hint, hint). Dinner ended really, really late, so we just went to bed, ready to get up early the next morning to catch the train to Windermere.
Now do ya wanna see some photos? Click here!
Observation 7: Indian food in the UK may be authentic, but it isn't good. Give me Americanized Indian food any day.
Lil and I first went to the Lake District in Cumbria. We arrived in Windermere in the afternoon. We hiked up a short trail to Orrest Head, where you can get a good view of Windermere (the lake). Afterwards, we walked around Bowness-in-Windermere, which is the town next door. It was a very touristy but not too crowded area, with lots of people walking around the lake and shopping at the outdoor gear shops and antique shops. Since Bowness-on-Windermere had more restaurants, we decided to eat there. We were also on a budget, so we didn't know which place to eat at...Lil decided that she was in the mood for Indian, so we went to this tiny hole in the wall. The food came and once again, we were greatly disappointed. Not only was it lacking in taste, but the food also came in very small portions. Furthermore, the service was not good and they forgot to bring us some of our dishes. It was decided from here on out that there would be no more Indian food on the trip.
Observation 8: The country is overrun with animals. Overrun!
The next day, (after a night filled with the melodious sounds of three snoring people) we took a bus to Ambleside. We took a short walk to see a waterfall, walked around Ambleside a bit (it's Anorak City there; they have so many outdoor gear shops), and then hiked from there to Grasmere. It was very beautiful and green. The hike was pretty long (over 2 hours), but it was very picturesque and we saw lots and lots of sheep. There were ones with white faces, ones with black faces, and ones whose faces were black and white. They were also color-coded, so it was amusing to see all these color-coded sheep with red and green butts munching on some grass. We stopped by Rydal Mount, Wordsworth's second residence, and took a tour of Dove Cottage (his first residence) once we reached Grasmere. I was wondering if Wordsworth was really short because the ceilings were really low or if that was just the style. I did learn later on from a tour guide in Stratford-upon-Avon that higher ceilings were generally available to wealthier people. We decided to take a bus to Keswick. Lil stood and waved her arms energetically and continued doing even after the bus passed by us without slowing down. After staring at the disappearing bus in shock, Lil thought that it was slowing down for us, so she started running after it, but I think you can surmise correctly that the bus had not slowed down at all, and Lil was running in vain. Stuck in Grasmere, we walked around the town a bit before finding a bus stop with other people waiting. Sadly, we did not get to buy Grasmere Gingerbread from Church Cottage, which is supposed to be quite famous. Luckily for us, we bumped into another Chinese traveller at the railway station the next day, and since Chinese people must stick together regardless of where they are in the world, she struck up a conversation with us and shared some of the gingerbread that she bought. It wasn't bad and it was really different from the gingerbread I am used to...it was more like shortbread with a layer of sugar and crystallized ginger on top.
Observation 9: When the English say "pudding," they don't mean what you think they mean.
We got to Keswick, and there really wasn't anything there that we found interesting. There were some shops, but that was about it. Lil and I spent most of our time in a candy shop, where they had really good gummy candy (I got some gummy cherries and gummy dog bones; Lil got a lot of gummy fried eggs), as well as some raunchy novelty gifts. There were several novelty items which seemed to be available at almost every store. They included chocolate covered spiders, white chocolate maggots ("better than the average maggot!") and poop (which I think was actually a concoction of chocolate, oatmeal, and something else). My favorite novelty candy (I didn't try it, I just like the packaging) was cow's bollocks, which actually looked very good (chocolate-covered malt balls). After buying a lot of candy, we headed back to Windermere. I was hungry, so I got dinner at a restaurant, and my roast beef came with Yorkshire pudding, which was very bland and nothing like pudding (I already knew that it would be like that, but would I have been able to call myself a proper tourist if I didn't try it?). I don't think it's good for much but sopping up gravy.
Observation 10: Monday night in Caernarfon is not a "happening" night.
We spent most of the next day traveling to our next destination: Caernarfon, Wales. Caernarfon is very green and close to the sea. Its two claims to fame are its castle, where the first Prince of Wales was born, and the Segontium ruins (the ruins of an old ancient Roman fort). I wanted to see Beaumaris Castle and have my picture taken at Llanfair P.G., but we didn't have time to do that. So we went to Roman ruins first, which had a lot of Samian pottery, whatever that is, and then we went to the castle, which was pretty cool. Unlike Castle Ashby, which is nicely furnished and modernized, the castle at Caernarfon is totally empty and dark and ruined. There were all these steep staircases with tiny little steps. As I climbed them, all I could think about was making a terrible misstep and plunging to my death. You could climb up these tall towers and get a nice view of the sea and the town, but with my fear of heights, I tried to minimize the time I spent in the towers, especially since my fear was heightened by the strong gusts of wind that made me feel like I'd be blown over a parapet and fall into the ocean. The passages were all dark and confusing, and at one point I thought that I might get lost forever and never find my way out. One thing I really liked about the layout of the castle is that there are museum exhibits that are not indicated by any signs. You'd just be walking in a dark passage and then all of sudden you would hear loud noises of swords clanging and people shouting. After further exploration, you'd realize that you were walking into a theatre showing a film about the history of the area. I think it's cool that they don't serve all the info to you on a silver platter; instead, they make you explore the castle and work to find the exhibits.
Lil was hoping that there would be Celtic night at one of the pubs so that we could see singing and dancing, but apparently Celtic night was on Tuesday, so we wouldn't be able to see any of that. We still went to this pub for dinner anyway. I don't know about you, but I thought it would be a little more lively than it was. Certainly, I expected more people. When we entered the place, we saw a group of people (10 people at most) sitting around the big screen TV, watching a college bowl game show. The people at the pub were watching this show with rapt attention and were shouting out answers. The show after the college bowl show was a documentary on castles in North Wales built by Edward I, namely Beaumaris and Caernarfon. You'd think that people who live in a town whose industry seems to thrive on the tourists that come to the castle would have had enough of the castle, but no, the group continued to watch the documentary with even more attention. I wanted to yell, "Hey, you know that the castle's he's talking about is just DOWN THE STREET, right?" but of course I didn't. It was quite silent as they watched the show, and after it was over, they left for home. So Lil and I were left in a very empty pub, eating our dinner, two servings of heart-attack-on-a-platter. That was our exciting night at a pub.
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