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Observation 11: Rain makes surfaces slick.
The next morning, we got up very early to walk along the shore. When we came back to the B&B we were staying at, we had breakfast, and it was the best darn breakfast I had had in a while. There were properly-cooked eggs, bacon, toast, baked beans, and tomatoes. No black pudding in sight! We walked to our bus stop, but missed the bus, so we had to take a later one, which would have gotten us to the train station just in time to catch the direct train to London, had it arrived on time. Unfortunately, it did not arrive on time, and as the bus neared the Bangor train station, Lil was getting ready to make a mad dash for the train station. When we got to the bus stop, Lil zoomed out and ran like the wind; however, the sprinkles that we had in the morning made the ground very slippery, so Lil fell on her ass, just as she neared the stairs. However, being the unstoppable machine that she is, she popped right back up and kept on chugging. Sadly, her efforts were all for naught because we had missed the train by 5 minutes. We ended up taking a later train which required transfers.
Observation 12: It's a wonder that the British aren't all suffering from scurvy.
After arriving in London, Lil went to do some shopping while I checked into my hotel. My hotel room was tiny. My luggage barely fit inside, and I barely fit into my shower. It was smaller than any dorm room I've ever stayed in. I think my bathroom at home is bigger than the room I had. Anyway, enough ranting. Lil and I went to Fortnum & Mason, where I bought some tea and blackcurrant jam and did the touristy thing known as being made to feel like an insignificant chit by the girl working behind the confectionery counter. I love it when people who work behind counters get these superiority complexes and treat you like crap. I think it's because they have a protective wall between them and the customers, so they feel like they can dish it out with abandon. Afterwards, we walked around Chinatown and Soho and then Lil went to the airport to catch her flight to Taiwan. I had dinner at a dumpling restaurant in Chinatown and scarfed all the veggies on my plate, including the garnish, because I hadn't had any fresh, non-fried vegetables in such a long time.
Go, Speed Racer, go!
After that, each day was jam-packed with travelling and sight-seeing. I first spent one day up at Stratford-upon-Avon, a must-see for any English major, because one must pay homage to the Bard. It was very pretty, but the weather was horrible. The town is very picturesque and plays up the "quaint little village" image with its restored building and many gardens, which were very beautiful. At New Place, there are some Elizabethan "knott" (my spelling is uncertain here) gardens, which had elaborate designs and pretty flowers. One thing I must say for this island is that although it rains a lot, you get really nice flowers in return. The river is very pretty with some very nice walks, but near the center of town you've got all these bridges that are swarming with very fat fowls that all expect to be fed. It's almost scary, like Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. I had half an hour to kill while waiting for my train so I went to the Teddy Bear Museum in Stratford-upon-Avon. My sister's gay Care Bear (he's not really gay, but everyone thinks he is because she put a barrette in his "hair" to keep the curl in) is on display there...but the one on display is straight (apparently, they didn't feel the need to maintain his coiffure).
The next day was spent going to Canterbury, Leeds Castle (which is supposed to be the loveliest castle in the world, but I think that that can be disputed), and Dover. The Canterbury Cathedral is very pretty and has some really gorgeous stained glass windows and architecture. Leeds Castle was fun in that you got to see how really rich people live (the last owner was Lady Bailie and she used to entertain famous actors like David Niven at the castle), and it has some beautiful grounds. I had fun wandering in the maze that they have there, but I got to the center pretty quickly, because I'm sharp like a Ginzu knife! I then took the train from Leeds Castle to Dover. Unfortunately, I got to Dover in the late afternoon, and the sun sets earlier in the UK than it does in California, for geographic reasons. It was already dark, but I tried to get some shots of the famous "white cliffs" anyway. Dover at night was like a ghost town; there was no one walking the streets. I'm guessing that they were all snug inside somewhere, drinking some beer to warm themselves up. I did see two fishermen out on the pier, and one of them took my picture for me. The fisherman's catch (two fish) looked kind of puny, but I said "Wow!" very sincerely anyway. Has anyone else noticed that things are always smaller than I expect? Is it wrong of me to expect things to be BIG? Back to that day, I got some fish and chips from a tiny little shop and they were YUMMY. Greasy and vinegary and salty. I feel that I should mention that it was really windy on the pier. I felt like I would be blown off the pier if I didn't hold on to the railing.
Wanna see photos corresponding to this trip? Click here!
Observation 13: I read in a magazine once that British style is much more natural and less perfect whereas New York and Los Angeles styles are much more superficial and "too perfect." Well, that is a load of you-know-what!
The reason that British style is so "natural" and "less perfect" is that the moment you step outside in the UK, no matter how much effort you've put into your appearance, all the elements conspire against you. Their ultimate goal? To make you look like you just survived a natural disaster. Just take a look at what my hair had to weather during the trip...
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| Wet at the Teddy Bear Museum |
Ruffled at Orrest Head |
Mussed at Leeds Castle |
In my face at Dover |
Going every which way at Stonehenge |
On my last full day, I went to Stonehenge, which was interesting, and to Bath, which was pretty nice. I went to the Roman Baths and had tea in the Pump Room, which was cool because I could relive my favorite Jane Austen moments. Being there made so many things that I had read about and seen in the movies make so much more sense. The day was filled with so many discoveries such as "Oh, that's why people in poor health would go to Bath!" and "Oh, that's why they call it the PUMP room!" and "Oh, that's why Anne Elliot is told to get a glass of water when she's not looking well." I tried some of the spa water that was supposed to have such healing properties, but it was gross (you could smell the sulfur and taste the iron in the water). I think my throat felt strange afterwards. I did find it amusing to see all the tourists (myself included) shell out 50p to have a glass of water, only to take a sip, grimace, and then walk away, leaving the half-full glass on the counter.
On my very last day, I woke up early and walked to Notting Hill (no, not to see the bookstore...I disliked the movie) to see their antiques market. There are some nice things there, but the majority of the wares are just cheap bric-a-brac. One vendor was greatly offended when a possible customer said they'd give her £20 for this ugly tarnished thing; she yelled "Get away! Get away! How dare you! This is gilt from the 19th century! It's worth at least £30." I just thought to myself that I wouldn't pay £1 for that ugly thing and kept on walking. I walked south and into Kensington Gardens and took a quick look at Kensington Palace. I got a Belgian waffle from the Belgian waffle stand that Katy and Greg and Joyce and Tony were so excited about and some gelato from a store near my hotel that was supposed to have the best gelato "this side of the Rubicon." I don't know how true that statement is, but the gelato certainly was good. After that, it was off to Heathrow for the flight back to reality.
The flight back to LA was, um, great. I was in the very last row of the plane and was seated next to a guy who kept going, "I feel sick, I have a headache." He had the flight attendants giving him different medications, including smelling salts, which are VERY SMELLY, as their name would suggest. I was completely prepared to punch him in the face if he dared to throw up on me. For someone who was so sick, he spent a lot of time talking and making his girlfriend do lots of trivial little tasks for him. The flight attendants, as usual, were very noisy and raucous, making jokes and doing stand-up for us.
So now I'm back. I'm sitting at my desk doing something tedious and boring. I guess I have one more observation to make then...
Observation 14: Despite the weather and food, it's still more fun to spend all of your savings going around the UK than to slowly lose brain cells from the neverending tedium of your job.
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